STRAIGHT TO CHEMO the next day on Thursday. They compassionately left my port accessed (left the needle in and the little wirey, hangey things dangling down) so that I would not have to get stuck again at chemo. YAH! Rejoice in all things! First night, not too bad. Since Friday night, feeling quite awful. Meds do help some, but achy, fluey feeling is the pits. Waves of nausea too and no energy. I drug myself up on Monday morning to keep the 8:30 appt. with the lymphedema therapist in Leesburg. She was very helpful and felt like at the moment she didn't see lymphedema, but that as I already knew, since lymph nodes were taken out of both sides, it would be a constant vigilance to prevent an outbreak. Even though my brain was quite fogged, I left with some clarity and good information at least. I'll know what to do and what to look for, but it still stinks....just part of it.
On the spiritual side...my word for lately is that God is a FILTER more often than a FIXER. I see his hand in my situation and others' situations, but most of the time supporting, undergirding, teaching and loving us through it through people like you my friends and family. THINGS HAPPEN! No doubt about it, but I know by faith that God is always good, always faithful, and always sovereign. My devotion one day in Matthew centered on poor ole John the Baptist getting beheaded. Just a few verses before, he was with Jesus in this glorious baptism scene where he was mightily used to baptize the Son of God and witnessed God the Father and the Holy Spirit right in front of him. He must have felt pretty important, huh? Then verses later, while Jesus is out teaching, John's sitting alone in jail about to be beheaded by evil men. So much for being a part of the inner circle, right? How must he have felt. What am I saying?? THINGS HAPPEN! Who am I to demand? Is it enough just to know that He's there?
Dina you are the bomb!
ReplyDeleteLinda and Diana say so!
I guess if a person totally and whole heartedly believes in God, then they have to believe in the fact that his devine intervention is too difficult for us to understand. And it that they should be able to find comfort in the fact that Gods will, will be done and that only he knows and understands the end results, and how it's for the best....his plan not ours. I hate that part of it myself.
ReplyDeleteI love you Dina and I'm praying that his intervention will bring your's and our desired results, most definately!!
the wisdom is Gods...we're just shephards.
Love you.
Babe! You're such an inspiration. I know this better than anyone because I get the honor of having a front row seat. Wish I were home this week to take care of you...but I know the boys will take up the slack. Love you much! Kenny
ReplyDeleteDina, I've had to sit still for a few days after reading thru your blogs about being on this unwanted, unscheduled 'journey' (for lack of a better word). I must say, that your words sobered me, jolted me, scared me, encouraged me and sometimes made me laugh (which made me admire you - that even in the midst of this F5 LIFE TORNADO!..you can find humor in something?? AMAZING WOMAN you are!)..and they made me cry. The 'Sovreign' attribute of God is one that I will never understand. If Jesus says He's The Healer, then I figure that He is surely supposed to heal - EVERYBODY that comes to Him for healing...and I will ALWAYS continue to proclaim the words of Isaiah 53..that 'by His stripes we were healed'..but I do confess that, in my little peon brain, I do NOT understand why these things just don't seem to sometimes be so 'cut and dried'..for EVERYONE who asks and believes. Why do bad things sometimes happen to good people? I don't know...but I have often times thought about christians in the New Testament, and how even though they served God with all they had, day after day criss-crossing desolate land, on foot often times, to preach the gospel to people who weren't sure they believed, and who sometimes did not really want God to 'change' them....often died HORRIBLE deaths! 'Where was God when that happened??!!' I've often thought in moments of weakness and desperation..All I know, is that in EVERY situation, I've come to simply revert back to 'My grace is sufficient for you'...and think that in each and every circumstance that life brings His Children, HE supernaturally supplies every single thing that our innermost being is crying out for..often in ways that those closest to us can never see, hear or know of....only WE..the child in need at the moment..gets wrapped in His arms and rocked to sleep, if only for an hour, a night, or for eternity. I want you to know that I am praying, diligently and earnestly, for a total reversal of the diagnosis that's been given you by man..for a completely healthy, whole body for Dina..yet here on THIS earth, and for you to allow yourself to simply be able, every single day, to simply close your eyes and 'jump off the porch to Daddy'..because He WILL catch you...each and every time. I've never been through such as you are going through, but I can tell you that I've been on some wild rides and He's never dropped me yet when I've dared to jump (and I am one H.E.A.V.Y. girl!) :)............Be blessed today...with love in Christ, Connie
ReplyDeleteHi Dina,
ReplyDeleteI was thinking about you today on my home from clinicals and I realized how I miss you in class. I read your blog today and I am very inspired by how much courage and faith you have with what you are going through. I love the pictures of you with the different wigs and happy to see that smile on your face. I want you to know that I am thinking of you and that I am praying for you and your family. God is good and faithful, I'm sure you already know that. Stay strong and keep those blogs coming.